Slice of Life Story Challenge March 25 -Initials On A Pencil Case

I have spent quite some time thinking about the mammoth pencil cases students carry throughout the school day.  It has inspired the following poem.

I have used the narrative conversational style employed so effectively by two of my favourite poets, Michael Rosen and Roger McGough. I wanted to create a  possible conversation between two students over some words scribbled on a pencil case.

These are my raw words, lifted straight from my current notebook. I shared them last week with the young Adelaide poets with whom I worked. I was road testing the words I guess. I was seeking their reaction. I am still reworking them. The words need to be polished and refined. I will add and subtract. The more I read these words aloud, the more likely I am to create words that flow easily. I don’t want them to feel like lumpy custard as they move over my tongue.



Initials On A Pencil Case



What’s that on your pencil case?
Right there in the corner
In tiny letters
Does it really say I ‘heart’ JB
Does it really?
Why does it say, I ‘heart’ JB?
I really can’t believe you would write that

It’s not what you think
It’s not what you think
It’s something else
Really it is…

Oh sure it is
I ‘heart’ JB –why would you write that
Where everyone could see it?

It’s about someone else

Someone else?
Who?

Julietta Brocklesbee

Who is Julietta Brocklesbee?

A girl

Thanks for the clue, but who is she?

She’s a singer in a band

What band?

The Fishsticks

Julietta Brocklesbee is a singer in a band called The Fishsticks
Never heard of them

They are a new band
A very good band
My favourite new band if you must know

You know what?

What?

You need to get a new pencil case
You need to get a new pencil case, really quickly
It’s either that or die of shame



Comments

  1. Anonymous25 March 2014 at 21:49

    :) It's funny what kids think is private and secret to them. Of course everyone would see that and think the "other" JB!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Melanie Meehan25 March 2014 at 22:01

    Love the repetition, Alan, and the way that you have captured conversation. Also love the image of words like lumpy custard on a tongue. Definitely inspires a writer to smooth it out!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous26 March 2014 at 01:05

    I can imagine the young pets listening, and shaking heads in agreement at the end...

    ReplyDelete
  4. Anonymous26 March 2014 at 01:06

    oops! young poets!!!

    ReplyDelete

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