Slice of Life Story Challenge- When I Last Saw My Father

A slow day allowed to view the movie, ‘When Did You Last See Your Father?” a film based on Blake Morrison’s novel about the relationship he shared with his father, I was struck by the all too common relationship issues we share with our parents. I found raw emotion bubbling just below the surface. I felt the rawness of realization in the memories that surfaced. I began to think more intently about my own father and how I saw him. I thought too about the unsaid things that continue to linger with me.

In those final days of his life, I sat with him, and we danced around the words that refused to be uttered by either of us. Our true thoughts remained trapped inside our sad hearts. We spoke of trivial matters only. – the weather, the cricket, and the hospital food. Banter at best.  The only time we got close to the truth was when he asked me if I had found all the envelopes that he had left at his house. Envelopes, that contained instructions for his funeral.

 My father was so totally organised. His instructions were ordered and clear. His preparation, immaculate. It was too close for me. I quickly re-assured him that I knew where to find them and searched my mind for another subject. Why would I want this to take up our time together?

 I drove home that afternoon not realizing that my chance had gone. I knew that the end of his life was near but it still came as a shock when a phone call from the hospital early the next morning informed me that he had died during the night. The day stretched in front of me, my thoughts consumed with the knowledge of having not told him that I loved him deeply once more before he died.
My earliest photo with my Dad. It's a shame I'm wearing a dress...



Comments

  1. Anne11 March 2012 at 20:47

    I guess we 'dance around the words' because to say them aloud means we are giving up hope and clinging to hope is important too.Putting your emotions into text makes them real andmopens the floodgates - not sure I am ready to express that raw emotion just yet.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Christina11 March 2012 at 20:57

    Such a heart felt topic then "My earliest photo with my Dad. It's a shame I'm wearing a dress" I went from one emotion of sadness then laughter.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Kelli Traber12 March 2012 at 00:48

    Your writing certainly speaks to me. You capture your emotions with a realness and authenticity. Sometimes we worry about the words we did not say, but some words may not need said.

    Today my family will travel to say goodbye to an uncle. Hospice is taking care of him, as his cancer has advanced to the point of kidney failure. Your post reminds me of why we are going--to say what we need to say. Many, many thanks for your honesty and openness, today especially.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Betsy Hubbard12 March 2012 at 01:21

    I too went from sadness to laughter, what an emotionally raw post. So honest and genuine, I could feel your sense of regret yet the necessary hesitation you had prior to your car ride home. He knows.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Linda B12 March 2012 at 01:50

    Sometimes I think there are more words I wish I'd said, but then I wonder if it's just because we want more time. I spent days during Christmas time with my mother & then had to leave to return to work, knowing I wouldn't see her again. You've brought up that time for me again, bittersweet. Glad I could have the time, but never enough. I'm sorry you felt regrets, but being with him expressed the feelings too. Thank you Alan.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Barbara12 March 2012 at 06:49

    I had chills reading. What an emotional piece. I'm sure there are things you wish you would have said, but how wonderful for you to spend the time with him. Thank you for sharing!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Jama12 March 2012 at 08:41

    It is just too hard to say that last good-bye. How beautiful that he was taking care of you by making sure you knew where the envelope was. I suppose in his way, that was an " I love you, son.". Thank you for sharing such a heartfelt piece.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Deb Gaby12 March 2012 at 09:17

    So captures the way I feel with some family relationships ..."we danced around words that refused to be uttered..." Very touching and raw piece...thanks!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Anonymous12 March 2012 at 11:02

    "We danced around words..." how often do we do that with those closest to us. I flet your emotions in this piece. It reminded me of my father's death in 2004. It stays with you. Thank you for sharing.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Maya Woodall12 March 2012 at 12:29

    Much was said in what wasn't said. You've got me thinking about my dad. He died three years ago, and sometimes I still call my mom's house when I know she isn't home to hear Dad's voice on the answering machine. Much wasn't said in the end for us either, but love fills a room in its wordlessness. Thanks for sharing and triggering my memories. I will have to write a Dad slice, soon.

    ReplyDelete
  11. LibraryDragon/Storykeeper12 March 2012 at 14:43

    First thank you for sharing something so heartfelt. Humans are such complicated beings. We are the only creatures that have words for love, yet so often we cannot say them to the people we most love. You have expressed what so many of us have felt and been unable to articulate.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular With Other Visitors

Writing Opposite Poems

Image
 O pp o s ite  P oem s In his book, ' How To Write Poetry,'  Paul Janeczko presents the idea of opposite poems. Paul suggests they could also be referred to as antonym poems. This is wordplay and it's fun to try. Here are some examples Paul provides to help us see very clearly how these short little poems work. I think the opposite of chair Is sitting down with nothing there What is the opposite of kind? A goat that butts you from behind Paul Janeczko You will  notice the poems are written in rhyming couplets. They can be extended so long as you remember to write in couplets. Paul shows us how this is done. What is the opposite of new? Stale gum that's hard to chew A hot-dog roll as hard as rock Or a soiled and smelly forgotten sock You might notice that some of Paul's opposite Poems begin with a question. The remainder of the poem answer the question posed. Opposite poems are a challenge, but it is a challenge worth trying. Not eve...
Read more

Writing About Reading - Reading Reflection Journals:

Image
UPDATED February 2022 Writing in response to literature can be a great way for students to organize their thoughts, explore what they think, and generate ideas. One of the strengths of writing in journals is that it allows students to capture all of those great ideas that generally float off into the air during the discussion.  Journal writing can also become drudgery if students are asked to write too often, given little choice or inspiration in what to write, or if they simply don't have anything to say. While some students eagerly share their impressions about selections they have read in class discussions, others are less comfortable and keep their thoughts to themselves. In an effort to encourage all students to think more about what they read and confidently share their observations and opinions, some teachers are turning to the reading reflection journal and are gaining insights they never anticipated.  The Value of Reflection Journals   Journals assist teachers...
Read more

Learning How to 'Zoom In' When Writing

Image
It is important for young writers to understand that not all parts of a story are equal. There are parts through which a writer moves quickly, and important parts where the writer slows down and lingers a while. This is where the writer might intensify the action or reveal the character’s reactions in greater detail. Young writers need to know that this is a deliberate strategy on the part of the author. The author consciously zooms in. The writer uses a magnifying glass to view a part of the story more closely; to focus on a moment and to slow down time. When an important part of the story is enlarged upon, it   is a signal to the reader, that this part of the story is important. The strategy of ‘zooming in’ goes by many names: ‘exploding a moment’ ‘magnifying a moment’, ‘hotspot’ ‘snapshot’, ‘adding detail’ or ‘slowing the action.’  What ever the name, the idea is the same. The author writes in a way that expands a significant part of the story with the intentio...
Read more

Slice Of Life Story-The Trials Of A Left Handed Writer

Image
Amazingly I learnt to write using my left hand. An achievement against the prevailing beliefs of the day. My very first teacher saw it as her mission in life to ‘fix’ the poor, wretched little boy suffering from what she clearly diagnosed as left handed disease. She must have thought, 'This child must be re formatted! If he remains left handed he will be forever condemned to writing in a scrawl that no one will be able to read. Ugly hand, ugly hand.' ...They tried to say it couldn't be done, it mustn't be done. They took the pencil out of my left hand and placed it in my right hand. It felt unnatural. It felt weird. It was not right. More to the point it was not left. I was not about to conform. At least they didn't try tying my hand behind my back. Watch me I said. I may be an oddball, left handed scribbler but I am a determined oddball. I mean how boring would the world be if everyone wrote with their right hand? So I dug my toes in –and my hands to...
Read more

Exploring Themes in Poetry With Emerging Writers

Image
There is so much more to poetry than haiku and acrostics. Yet, so many young poets never get to experience the rich breadth of poetry beyond these highly structured forms. Why? Primarily, it’s about their teachers comfort levels with poetry. We often teach to what we know, meaning that being adventurous and taking young poets into new realms is not part of the poetic landscape for many. This sells young poets and poetry itself short. Last week I had the pleasure to again work with a group of young poets from Derrimut Primary School grade 5/6 in Melbourne’s west. We have been exploring patterns and repetition in poetry. We have explored personification as a literary device to develop the writing of poetry. We delved into the idea of writing through a mask to provide inanimate and animate entities with a voice. They told stories in words from their own perspective. On this occasion we again went to the edges and began to explore poetry through themes. We discussed a range ...
Read more