Working To Improve Sentence Structure With Young Writers

A new school year unfolds and the initial writing samples student writers produce, provide tangible evidence of where they are situated in relation to sentence structure. Don't start pulling your hair out, as

the situation can be rapidly improved by teaching into a range of simple, yet effective strategies.

Many of the same techniques used to teach fluency in reading can be used to improve writing. Student writers need to be alerted to the importance and power of fluency. This process can begin by exposing them to writing samples that flow easily. Get them to listen to the words initially, before examining them more closely.  Help them to more readily recognise good sentence structure and apply this skill to their own writing.

Grammar taught in context has the best chance of impacting the quality of student writing. Therefore a range of quality literature titles and mentor texts must be enlisted as exemplars of effective sentence structure. In truth, young writers are being taught how to write in the style of trusted authors. Issuing an invitation to closely examine the work of experienced writers can prove most influential. 

By working with students and sharing exemplary literature samples,  important features such as varied sentence beginnings, varied sentence length, and the important, sentence combining, can be highlighted.

Sentence Beginnings:

Sample Student Writing 1

I have a bike. It is red. I like to ride it. It is fun. My friend and I like to ride in the forest. It is really cool there. We have a good time. When it is time to go home I have to put my bike in the garage. That is where I keep it.

*Circle the starting word in each sentence
Notice the following:
The sentences lack variety
The structure of the sentences is similar in most sentences
The sentences lack energy or excitement.

When you read the passage aloud, it feels stop start. The words don't flow easily off the tongue.

Sample Student Writing 2

One January morning, Grandma and I looked out the window and saw snow. About ten centimetres of white, fluffy stuff formed a big cloud on the porch. Grandma was the youngest of seven children and always said it wasn’t fair that I had no brothers and sisters to play with. So guess what we did? Dressed in our warmest clothes we put on hats, mittens, boots and went out the back door. We walked around the yard, carefully tiptoeing up the edge of the porch steps. Plopping in the snow in front of the window, we made snow angels. Getting up carefully, we left the same way we came. When Grandpa got home we took him into the living room and had him look out the window. There were two perfect snow angels, one big, and one little. Grandma and me.

*Circle the starting word in each sentence
Sentence beginnings are varied.
The writing possesses energy.
Sentence structure is varied.

Reading aloud, the words flow more easily. 

Sentence Length
Sentences become boring when they tend to have the same number of words. Using the above student writing samples, have students count the number of words in each sentence. Once the two samples have been surveyed compare the sentence length. As a way of increasing awareness of sentence length, challenge your students to go in search of some two word sentences, starting in the books they are currently reading. Then have them find some long sentence. make them aware that a lot of author consciously vary the length of their sentences to make the reading more engaging for their readers. A writer like Morris Gleitzmann is well worth considering for your text detectives. 

Combining Sentences
Sentence combining involves making one smooth, more detailed sentence out of two or more shorter sentences. Research by Hillocks. G , 1987, Routman, R 1996) found that building complex sentences from simpler ones was shown to be effective in raising the quality of student writing. Now that’s important news!

Short sentences can be combined by deleting unnecessary words, moving words around or using adjectives in a series. They can also be joined using conjunctions (sometimes called connectives) ( after, when, since, because, before) and relative pronouns (who, whose, which, that)

If a child writes the following:

I am going to the doctor. Her name is Dr Usher. I am going tomorrow.

Show them how to combine these sentences into one sentence.

Revision : Tomorrow I have an appointment with my doctor, Dr Usher.

Example 2 Sentence Combining

My dog loves to swim. He loves to run along the shoreline. He loves to fetch the ball.

Revision: My dog loves to run along the shoreline, retrieve the ball, and swim back to shore.

This is what Mark Tredinnick in his book, ‘The Little Red Writing Book’ refers to as the triadic sentence. It links three items of information to make the sentence more memorable and powerful. It provides greater clarify and flow. Three items is the magic number. Four is too many.
Teach triadic sentence for fluency! Use your own writing as an example. Find examples in literature to further highlight this craft move. They're not hard to find:

'On an island, in the middle of nowhere, there was a tree.'

From Tanglewood, by Margaret Wild

'She was sitting with her mum, on a blanket, underneath the tree.'

From Skellig, by David Almond

'He tried to imagine new stuff, shiny and clean, with that new stuff smell.'

From Ruby Holler, by Sharon Creech

Example 3 Sentence Combining
My Mum is short. She is blonde. She is pretty.

Revision: My Mum is short, blonde and pretty.

As with all strategies for improving writing, it is important to have students practice until they can perform the task independently. This will enable them to revise their own writing with increased awareness and confidence.

Don’t forget the value of having them read aloud from their own writing. It is a proven revision strategy for checking fluency and word usage. If the words aren't flowing over the tongue easily, it's a sign your sentences need some love and attention. 


References:

Using Literature To Enhance Writing Instruction, Rebecca Olness, International Reading Association, 2005

Moving from Correct Alls To Mentor Texts, Jeff Anderson, Stenhouse, 2005

Mechanically Inclined, Bulding Grammar Usage and Style into the Writer’s Workshop, Stenhouse, 2005

English Grammar – A Functional Approach John Collerson, PETA 1994

The Little Red Writing Book, Mark Tredinnick UNSW Press, 2006