Slice of Life Story - Scenes From A Supermarket



My final March Slice of Life Story Challenge piece finds me at the supermarket.

I called in to pick up some milk, breakfast cereal and bananas. As I made my way through the ailses I was struck by the following realization...


I am increasingly of the view that people should have to pass a driving test to operate a supermarket trolley. There should be on the spot fines for blocking the aisle, and sudden un-announced u –turns should be banned. It is challenging enough to operate a trolley with the obligatory wobbly wheel without decision challenged individuals obstructing your access to the fruit and veg section while they prop and ponder over heaven knows what. I don’t resent having to gather food in this manner. I view it as a highly evolved form of hunting and gathering that has mercifully eliminated the need to set traps and snares, or fire arrows. That is evolution at its best.

No, what upsets me about the supermarket trolley bash is the consumer who enters the food gathering environment lacking a mission statement; any sort of action plan. They wander the aisles quite aimlessly hoping divine intervention will take hold of their thoughts and guide them to an item they might actually need. I suspect these same individuals are also non writers, because they never carry a list of possible items. They just arrive and create chaos. Maybe someone could greet them at the entrance and demand to see a written plan. I suspect the supermarket shopping experience may be turning me into a retailing fascist.


Supermarket shopping is not to be undertaken by people who lack a a clear game plan. It needs to be performed quickly and efficiently and hopefully when one reaches the check out, all your items will have bar codes and you will be greeted by an abundance of cheerful check out persons ready to zap you through without delay. Now that’s a supermarket special deal I would love to see…

And so I eventually emerge from the supermarket armed with aforementioned items and remember a poem I wrote some years ago inspired by supermarkets and young love. I close this Story Slice Challenge with that poem:

AISLE BE SEEING YOU SUPERMARKET SALLY

I fell in love with a girl
-The girl from checkout three
I fell in love with her
Because, she spoke to me
She said, Do you want a bag with these?

And held up two tins of dog food and super hero underpants for everyone to see
And I was all aglow
As people stared at me.

Her name was Sally Tanner
She was a wizard with the scanner
She zapped and zipped
Zipped and zapped
No item could evade her trap

She was supermarket Sally
In her neatly pressed white blouse
A goddess of the grocery store
Oh, I could watch her zap for hours.

But I saw her kissing Fabian
Beside the Fresh Fruit stand
And after work I saw them leave
And they were hand in hand

She had been my red spot special
But I’m sure that I’ll survive
I’ll transfer all my purchases
To the girl at checkout 5

Comments

  1. Anonymous1 April 2009 at 00:13

    I totally agree with you on the supermarket chaos by those without a plan and that you should get a licence to drive the karts! :)

    Loved the poem.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Unknown1 April 2009 at 08:02

    That was cool what you wrote in the comments section. Thank you...T-Dawg

    ReplyDelete
  3. Letterpress1 April 2009 at 09:13

    Fun post--and fun poem. When I moved to New York, and was about killed by the frenzy that populated my teensy upstate market, I was sure I'd moved to crazy town and that I would be swallowed up! I grew to love the energy and tension in our little market, learning how to order at the deli. When I moved back to California, and because reacquainted with wide aisles, bright lighting and placid shoppers, heading to the grocery store wasn't quite as fun.

    See you around--
    Elizabeth
    http://peninkpaper.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete

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