Poetry Inspired By Mentor Poets- Structure & Patterns

In my eternal quest for poetry mentor texts that will support the sometimes tentative writing efforts of emerging student poets (and their teachers), I came across this poem by John Rice. It was part of a collection ‘Poems to Perform: A Classic Collection Chosen by the Children's Laureate,’ Julia Donaldson.


The poem has a simple repetitive structure that provides a safe scaffold for the less experience poet. Students immediately note the please do -please do not pattern and the way the poet finishes with a line that breaks the pattern, yet neatly ties the poet’s thoughts together. It’s as if he has an afterthought. They also noted the element of humour the poet had injected into the poem. For young poets, the presence of humour heightens engagement.

Instructions For Giants

Please do not step on swings parks, youth
clubs, cinemas and discos
Please flatten all schools
Please do not eat children, pop stars, TV
soap operas, kind grannies who give us 50cents
Please feel free to gobble up dentists
Please do not block out the sunshine
Please push all rain over to France
Please do not drink the public swimming pool
Please eat all cabbage fields, vegetable plots and anything
green that grows in the countryside!
Please do not trample kittens, lambs or other baby animals
Please take spiders and snakes, ants and beetles home for your own pets
Please stand clear of the jets passing
Please sew up the ozone layer
Please mind where you put your BIG feet
And no sneaking off to China when you’re playing hide and seek.

John Rice

 

The next step was to show students (in this case, Grade 4 students) how one can improvise upon the structure of the original poem. I decided to write my poem focusing on instructions I would give to a crocodile.  I certainly borrowed from the original structure but also added a few of my own moves.

Instructions For Crocodiles

Please stay out of the swimming pool
Please don’t get snappy when things don’t go your way
Please close your mouth when eating
Please consider becoming a vegetarian
Please stay away from my backyard
Only go after nasty folk
Please consider becoming a handbag
Please clean your teeth, swamp breath
And don’t be so thick-skinned about things
I have never, ever smiled at you
Seriously… 
                                                         
Alan j Wright

 

When I presented the two poems I invited a comparison. I invited students to look for similarities and differences. At this point I talked about writing in the style of a trusted author, or writing under the influence of a fellow writer. We used our poet’s eyes to note the craft moves being made within the poem.

As part of the critical pre-writing phase of a lesson, I challenged students to brainstorm a list of possible subjects to whom instructions could be given. They came up with monsters, aliens (quite predictable) parents, teachers, siblings (their word) pets (quite an array) and prime ministers.

Each young poet then made a decision regarding the focus for ‘instructions.’ Following this, I had them rehearse their words with a partner. I wanted them to hear the words before they wrote. I then released them to write. They set about the writing with enthusiasm and delight. I noticed how several of these young poets were smiling as they wrote. It appeared they were entertained by their own thoughts as they composed their pieces. At the conclusion of the workshop the eagerness to share was also most notable. Their raw words were a delight. I suggested that they revisit their poems the next day to view them with fresh eyes and ears. I encouraged them to continue to polish their words and work towards publishing and sharing their poems with a wider audience. My young audience was nodding in agreement.

Rereading the raw words of  our first drafts to hear them as a reader would hear them. This provides a perfect opportunity to begin polishing our poetic pearls.

To conclude, I have attached Tenaya’s poem. She informed me that she wanted to write her instructions from the perspective of a boy with a younger sister. Her poem has captured  the structure of John Rice’s poem as well as  capturing the mindset of the aggrieved older brother.

Instructions For Little Sisters

Note To All Little Sisters!                                                                                 Please do not torture me with your little pink frilly dresses               Please don’t make me sit down and drink fake tea and talk to stuffed animals on a plastic table and chairs in your room
Please colour in your own colouring book, not mine
Please don’t sing to me, you make my ears bleed
Please dress the dog up as a prince, instead of me
Please don’t scream at me
Please don’t show me your castle pictures
Please watch Ben 10 instead of The Little Princess
Please don’t kill my pet worms
Please don’t step on ants
And don’t cry in front of me

Tenaya. F.

                                                                                                                                           

 





Comments

Post a Comment

Popular With Other Visitors

Learning How to 'Zoom In' When Writing

Image
It is important for young writers to understand that not all parts of a story are equal. There are parts through which a writer moves quickly, and important parts where the writer slows down and lingers a while. This is where the writer might intensify the action or reveal the character’s reactions in greater detail. Young writers need to know that this is a deliberate strategy on the part of the author. The author consciously zooms in. The writer uses a magnifying glass to view a part of the story more closely; to focus on a moment and to slow down time. When an important part of the story is enlarged upon, it   is a signal to the reader, that this part of the story is important. The strategy of ‘zooming in’ goes by many names: ‘exploding a moment’ ‘magnifying a moment’, ‘hotspot’ ‘snapshot’, ‘adding detail’ or ‘slowing the action.’  What ever the name, the idea is the same. The author writes in a way that expands a significant part of the story with the intention of drawing t
Read more

Writing Irresistible LEADS with Grade One Students

I have been reading Australian author, Kate Grenville’s book, ‘The Writing Book – A Practical Guide For Fiction Writers.’ Grenville writes about leads and reminds us that the beginning of a piece of writing needs to be irresistible . Further to this she reminds the reader that it doesn’t matter where you begin a piece of writing- just begin! Grenville quotes Ezra Pound who said, ‘It doesn’t matter which leg of the table you make first as long as it stands up in the end.’ The writer’s aim is to glue the reader to the page. Grenville also makes the observation that sometimes you need to write the whole story before returning to the start in order to write a great beginning or ‘lead’ for it. Recently I have been working with groups of Grade 1 writers alerting them to the various ways in which writers ‘lead’ the reader deeper into their stories. Initially we looked at their own writing samples and I asked students, what did they notice about the words being used in their story leads? Th
Read more

Answering Questions Posed by Young POETS

Image
UPDATED, May 2020 As a frequent visitor to schools I have the great pleasure of working with groups of young, enthusiastic poets and their teachers. When I arrive in a classroom, young poets are often pre-loaded with questions, and most keen to have them answered.  I try to answer as many as I can, but we frequently run out of time, and the poetry caravan moves on to the next classroom. So I am here to answer some of those questions -right here, right now. So here goes: When you were little did you love writing? The short answer is yes. I have always enjoyed words and language. I can't recall a time when I wasn't doing some kind of writing. When did you write your first poetry book? I have had poems published over the years, but it wasn't until 2014 that I had an entire book of poems (an anthology) published. When I looked back through all my notebooks I realized I had hundreds of poems from which to choose. So, 'Searching For Hen's Teeth-Poetry From The
Read more

Writing Opposite Poems

Image
 O pp o s ite  P oem s In his book, ' How To Write Poetry,'  Paul Janeczko presents the idea of opposite poems. Paul suggests they could also be referred to as antonym poems. This is wordplay and it's fun to try. Here are some examples Paul provides to help us see very clearly how these short little poems work. I think the opposite of chair Is sitting down with nothing there What is the opposite of kind? A goat that butts you from behind Paul Janeczko You will  notice the poems are written in rhyming couplets. They can be extended so long as you remember to write in couplets. Paul shows us how this is done. What is the opposite of new? Stale gum that's hard to chew A hot-dog roll as hard as rock Or a soiled and smelly forgotten sock You might notice that some of Paul's opposite Poems begin with a question. The remainder of the poem answer the question posed. Opposite poems are a challenge, but it is a challenge worth trying. Not every thing has a
Read more

Writing About Reading - Reading Reflection Journals:

Image
UPDATED February 2022 Writing in response to literature can be a great way for students to organize their thoughts, explore what they think, and generate ideas. One of the strengths of writing in journals is that it allows students to capture all of those great ideas that generally float off into the air during the discussion.  Journal writing can also become drudgery if students are asked to write too often, given little choice or inspiration in what to write, or if they simply don't have anything to say. While some students eagerly share their impressions about selections they have read in class discussions, others are less comfortable and keep their thoughts to themselves. In an effort to encourage all students to think more about what they read and confidently share their observations and opinions, some teachers are turning to the reading reflection journal and are gaining insights they never anticipated.  The Value of Reflection Journals   Journals assist teachers to gain i
Read more