Slice of Life Tuesday - A Great Day for LUNES!

It's cold and grey writing day, so today my thoughts have turned to lunes!  What an indulgence.

It’s one of the recurring themes in my writing of poetry. Such a simple poetic structure, but lots of fun. Lunes require three lines. That’s all. Three simple lines. A pattern to follow. They go like this:

3 words

5 words
3 words –but with a twist at the end!

A lune has more flexibility than its ancient cousin, haiku and has no essential connection with nature. It’s just 3/5/3 and away you go!

So lunes it is. Today, my notebook swells even further as I fill the pages with an assortment of lunes. All the time, I’m trying to snap the reader to attention with the final line. Shock and awe…

With lunes every word must do its job. There is no room for pasengers. You are forced to tinker and slide word fragments around in your head in search of the best arrangement. Embrace the challenge. This is all part of being joyfully literate!

Think of lunes another way. They make a great introduction to poetry for many young writers who have previously viewed poetry as something beyond their reach. They write one, and they’re off and running with these wordy delights. Lunes present an opportunity for essential word play. I can honestly say, lunes have never let me down as a vehicle for teaching poetry. There very structure provides a comforting scaffold for the inexperienced poet.

So, as I sit in my study, a host of new lunes have spilt onto the pages of my notebook. I now share some of my loopy lunes with you, dear readers in the hope that they inspire the poet within to dabble in a little lunacy.

On the clifftop  (3)

I sang silly love songs  (5)
To a koala  (3)

On Monday evening
I took my beach towel
To the supermarket

Over the hill

In the early morning light
A spaceship hovered

In my car

Driving down the Monash Freeway
Making fish faces

In my backyard

I watched clouds roll by
Bird poop bomb!

At the seaside

I dived into foaming waves
Wearing pink slippers

Watch me now

Among the bright red tulips
Eating mashed bananas

Something concerns me

I think it might be
Your green toes

Helping Students Add DETAIL To Their Writing

I recall how my teachers often glided by as we were engaged in writing and following a cursory glance at our assembled words frequently uttered the phrase, - ‘You need more detail’  while waving a finger above the page. They would then move on again seemingly before we had a chance ask a follow up question. We were left to ponder the deeper meaning of ‘details’ and what exactly this meant for our writing. They didn’t hang around long enough to go into detail about details…

For me this has always been a sticking point. Telling a young writer to add more detail without explaining what this actually means for the writing is about as useful as a paper vase.

So, the question arises, -What do we mean by detail?

Well, we need to unpack the idea of detail so the writer can see exactly what is meant. Too often this translates to throwing a host of adjectives into the mix to make the writing more ‘descriptive.’  Teachers sometimes tell students, ‘You need to add some adjectives to make the writing more descriptive.’ As a consequence, this becomes the only strategy these developing writers have to address the important issue of detail. The result is often a piece of writing drowning in adjectives.  

When conferring with student writers about their writing they frequently inform me they want to make their writing more descriptive; more detailed. So, I ask, how they intend to achieve their stated goal. A common response is, ‘I need to add some adjectives.’ Unfortunately, writing requires more than adjectives to meet the expectations of readers. Adjectives are like fat. We need to use them sparingly!

Fortunately, there are many kinds of detail we can add to a narrative piece to make it reader friendly.

Description: characters, settings, objects.

Action: Making the characters move, do things, respond. Use Show, Don’t Tell strategy and strong verbs to depict actions.
Dialogue: Have the characters reveal themselves through their words. It helps to place the reader in the scene when characters say things real characters would say.
Emotions & Feeling: This type of detail allows the reader know what is going on in the mind of the character. The writer includes information about the emotional world of the character.

These different types of detail allow the reader to visualize and this brings the words to life.  As writers, it is important to weave a range of details through our writing for the reader’s benefit.

Questions For Writers:
Could you add some words to your piece- some dialogue between the characters?
Could you show your readers what the character was thinking or feeling at that moment?
Could you describe the setting where the story takes place?
Could you describe the character –personality, appearance?
What exactly did the character do? What action did they take?

The devil may not be in the detail, but we will continue to have a devil of a time trying to elevate the quality of writing while we skim over the issue of detail.

Reading Feeds My Writing

In this National Year of Reading in Australia, I find myself constantly marvelling at the impact of books on my life. As a life long learner, books provide the necessary spark for progressively chipping away at my ignorance. All across Australia, celebrations of our literate lives are taking place. A warming well spring of activities is occurring in towns and cities the breadth of Australia in 2012 and it serves to remind us of the significant contribution reading makes to our lives.
I love it when I see heads bowed in pursuit of understanding as readers of all ages lose themselves in a book. I love the privacy of reading and the public sharing that often follows. I love the notion of books as travelling companions and guides. I love that a book can make me ambitious. A book has the capacity to be transformative. A book can help me escape and take me to new worlds and offer new ideas, propositions and understandings. A book can challenge my current beliefs and prejudices.

I draw much comfort from knowing books are inseparable from my view of myself as a writer. I have lost count of the times I have told students and teachers, ‘You can’t be a writer unless you’re a reader,’

Our lives as literate beings should be shared daily with the students with whom we work. Our reading and writing lives should be joyfully on display. There is no more powerful model for children than to be in the company of an adult who sees themselves as a proudly literate person.

And so the books in my personal library continue to grow in number. They continue to inform me. They nourish my thirst for knowledge, and they help me remain credible as an educator. My passion for reading and writing hopefully shines through in the work I do. Everyday, I bring with me all the reading I have ever done. It is the prior knowledge I tap into when linking reading and writing. I frequently remind students and teachers that they too bring this rich treasure with them when they enter their shared learning space. I am grateful to my parents and teachers who all those years ago laid the foundations for the reading life I continue to celebrate. It is what guided me towards writing. For that, I will remain eternally grateful.

Writing in The Style of A Mentor Author- Margaret Wild

Recently, I have had the good fortunate to work with some Second Grade writers and their committed teachers at Cairnlea Park Primary School. Together, we have devoted considerable time becoming more familiar with the literary work of Margaret Wild. Adopting this author as a mentor has enabled all of us, teachers, consultant and students to become more deeply acquainted with Wild’s personal writing style. Apart from the enjoyment of sharing this author’s books (through multiple readings), we have devoted time to exploring such aspects of writing as themes, characters, settings and the like. This close study has provided multiple opportunities to notice some of the different craft moves Margaret Wild consistently employs as she writes.
The teachers of these enthusiastic learners did a great job gathering a host of books enabling students to deeply explore the work of this mentor author. Margaret Wild became part of both the reading and writing workshops in these classes.

This is the place where learning to read like a writer begins. This is where the teaching of writing begins to delve more deeply into what makes writing a special craft.

Until the teaching of writing moves into this zone, it remains mired in merely looking at the surface features of writing. -Spelling, punctuation and grammatical features. While this is an important aspect of writing, it represents, only a part of the total picture of what constitutes writing. When we delve into writing, we are more likely to uncover what makes words fizz and sparkle with energy and delight.

This happened when we read Margaret Wild’s latest book, Tanglewood.                                                         
It begins - ‘On a tiny island, in the middle of nowhere, there was a tree. It is a short, yet highly effective lead. This short, yet beautifully written text, deals with the themes of loneliness, firendship and family. It has much to offer the teacher who wants to wants to nudge young writers forward in their understanding of craft.

 On the second reading, students were encouraged to look closely at the structure of this opening sentence. They noticed the series of commas separating groups of words. They had noticed this same way of crafting sentences in Wild’s Fox and so we set about giving this particular craft move a name. We called it ‘Where? Where? What?


I showed the students how I would use this particular crafting of words to create a narrative lead. I wrote, ‘In a tiny cottage, at the end of a laneway, lived a grumpy old man.’

I shared a number of these ‘Where? Where? What?’ leads before inviting them to join me in jointly constructing a lead in this same style. You could sense that they were keen to try this in their writing, so I set them free to explore.

Some tried it multiple times, as if practicing a move. They clearly wanted to feel a sense of mastery, before continuing. Others used it to launch a piece of writing and then moved their writing forward from that point. It was most gratifying to watch their sentence structure move into this area of sophistication, so effortlessly.

When students came together to share some of their writing, we were amazed how effectively they had adopted this craft move from a studied author. They were writing in the style of Margaret Wild!

For his lead Odin wrote, ‘In an old rickety train station, near the library, lived a little ant.’

Joshua wrote, ‘On a small island, on the sand, was nothing but a tall tree.’
Isabella wrote, ‘In a pond, among some grass, was a man about to drown.’ -Disturbing, yet effective.
Other students adapted the strategy and it became, Where, When, What or Where, What.

And so it went…

We are never alone when it comes to teaching writing. Authors abound whose words can assist us to deepen a student’s understanding of what makes writing so interesting. We can learn from them; imitate their style and in the course of doing so, develop our own writing; our own knowledge of craft.

 When we want students to notice a writer’s use of craft, the following actions greatly enhance their uptake and sharpen their observations:

• Read books from authors they love and trust
• Read books from authors you love and trust
• Take advantage of shorter texts that can be managed in a single reading. Rich content, without the overload.
• Ensure that students get to know the author responsible for the book.
• Link the work of the illustrator to the words of the author, assuming you are working with a picture-story book.
• Read and then reread with a focus on noticing the craft.
• Invite students to experiment with the craft element in their writer’s notebooks.
• Plan a series of lessons that focus on craft elements.
• Always use the share time to reinforce what has been uncovered by studying the author’s craft.
• Be patient with the adoption of writer’s craft. It takes time and practice to feel comfortable with using a particular style of writing.

Thank you to Lisa Anderson and Belinda Rae, two enthusiastic teachers and their wonderful young writers, who are going bravely into new areas of understanding and making great discoveries. Discoveries that are moving them forward as writers, and teachers of writing.

Digital Storytelling- Death Alley Walk, Legian,Bali

A recent break in Bali enabled me to enlist my writer's notebook and camera in a joint venture. In recent days they have assisted me to create a digital story based on a setting I find fascinating. I share it with you now.

Digital story telling represents a further opportunity to share our writing lives with an audience.  I shared my digital story with two grade four classes in the hope that it sparks possibilities for them as writers.

Empowering Our Youngest Writers

In recent days, I have spent a considerable amount of time in classrooms along side our youngest writers. I have worked with teachers of these emerging writers and in every instance these educators are striving to provide opportunities for their students to develop a healthy perception of themselves as writers. Daily opportunities to write on topics and ideas selected by the students themselves have been a feature. Encouragement for students to experiment with sounds and letters as they develop increasing confidence to composing meaningful messages for others to read. These young authors are developing important understandings about what it means to write. They are also being consistently supported to learn useful strategies to guide them in the processes of writing. Gradually they are forming a sense of form and genre and craft through their writing experiences. They are also experimenting with writing conventions. I witnessed powerful evidentce of students' reading the room' as they searched for conventional spelling of sought after words. Word walls were constantly scanned. Writers collaborated. A creative buzz filled these classrooms.

They are gradually becoming 'brave writers' who are willing to take risks with the spelling of previously unfamiliar words. Teachers are conscious of  encouraging their students to make decisions about the shape and form of their writing. They are mindfully teaching, rather than trying to control writing.

As students engage with language and progressively gain control of the words they wish to use,  the teacher is provided with powerful feedback as to the effectiveness of the teaching taking place.

Only yesterday, a teacher shared with me various writing samples she had gathered from one of her young writers. A smile spread across her face as she pointed to the obvious development of the writing between February and June. This was a celebration of  the writer's progress.

Teachers are devoting an increasing amount of writing workshop time to rehearsal for writing. A range of pre-writing strategies are implemented to assist the young writer to more confidently identify the message they wish to convey to their readers. Before the writing begins, time is provided for talk, planning, rehearsing, questioning, reading, drawing and so on. The writing that emerges, is enhanced through time devoted to articulating writing intentions. No 'cold starts'  for these inexperienced writers. The writer is accorded respect. By the end of their first year of school, the young writers in these classes will move onto Grade one with a healthy image of themselves as writers.

Here are some photographs I took, exemplifying a number of the effective practice I have seen lately.
It's always great to share good news!


As part of Share Time, these beginning writers were given time to wander about in a gallery walk or silent share to observe the writing of their peers and look for new ideas to try in their own writing. A wonderful strategy for rasing awareness. There is more than one teacher of writing in every classroom.

This was Lola's plan for her fairytale. She produced a lengthy piece that included many of the ingredients listed in her plan. It included princesses, potions and a love element.

This young writer is thinking about her writing. She pondered for some time before the message emerged on the page. The important thing about this was that their was confidence in the writer to resolve the issue. Time and space was provided. The writer was not pressured. She had control and ownership. The problem was solved. The writer produced a fine piece of writing. Powerful messages from the teacher.

Slice Of Life Tuesday -Change Marches On

Change never goes away. It's a constant in our collective lives. It’s fingerprints are everywhere. Sometimes change is subtle and unassuming; sometimes change is dramatic and overwhelming.

A week ago I was in Bali, warm and relaxed, enjoying a few days of Bali beach culture. Today I am back in Melbourne in winter gloom; the wind blowing relentlessly around me as I navigate my way through the working day. Climate change is real! A six hour plane ride makes a world of difference to your comfort levels. Bali fades into the grey gloom of my wintery existence. I’ve changed from beach gear to my heavy winter coat and my favourite winter scarf. Wardrobe change as a survival mechanism.

I saw change occurring on the beach in Bali as well. The tourists are no longer arriving in the profuse numbers they once did. Economic gloom in Europe and America has spread like a dark cloud across the globe and the hawkers who scratch out a meagre living selling their wares and services on the beach strip, are victims of this changed circumstance. The wind of economic change is blowing directly upon them. Change can be indiscriminate.

My Balinese friend, Jack once did a strong trade in henna tattoos on the beach.Now, demand for these temporary body adornments has fallen from favour as legions of younger tourists seek more permanent body markings. They no longer seek out the temporary solution. Change has imposed itself on Jack’s precise art. He is now striving to re-position himself; seeking work as a driver for tourists. Competition for such work is stiff, as demand dwindles in a fragile tourist industry. Change can be difficult.

During my Bali break I watched the young men attempting to sell day old, often recycled newspapers in front of the tourist hotels. They too are being squeezed by the relentless pace of change. There is something pathetic about the sad passing of an era. Dwindling demand makes their efforts all the more desperate. The newsboys of Bali are swimming against the technological tide. A slow death is taking place here. I wonder if they sense it? As the world embraces on-line media, print media increasingly struggles for relevance.  Change can be cruel.

We can delude ourselves and turn away from the prospect of change, but it will be right there when we turn back. It would seem far better to look upon change as an opportunity, rather than an inconvenient truth. Particularly those aspects of change, we can exercise some control upon.  Bring it on I say. I’m ready. I am an experienced changling. Whether we realize it or not- we all are! We just deal with it in different ways.

Legian Beach, Bali, Indonesia